Breaking Up With A Vengeance With These Crazy Notes You Wished You Hadn’t Read

We are huge fans of lemon meringues, and this example looks fantastically yummy. What we do not appreciate, however, is being delivered heartbreaking news in the form of a delicacy! This person will never be able to eat cake again. Maybe opt for a less scrumptious form of communication next time.

I Am Breakup Men

Not every person can be bothered to come up with an original and heartfelt breakup message. Some people will borrow from various romance films and the like to construct an appropriate dumping tale. This person, however, decided that a Batman film’s dialogue was an appropriate sendoff.

I Am Breakup Men

This is a fantastic way to seem like you never felt a shred of affection or respect for your partner… ouch! Batman is an excellent inspiration when it comes to doing the right thing and never giving up in the face of overwhelming odds. When it comes to sensitive relationship matters, you might want to take the cape off.

Spelling It Out

This person was under the impression that they had received a standard “ily,” which generally stands for “I love you.” This is why you should never trust text language, or at least never ask for someone to expand on it. You might not be on the same page.

Spelling It Out

This case is another example of being struck out of the blue. While this might seem like overkill, you will never know just what the dumper has been through. Events which no amount of smiling emojis could rectify!

Attention Grabbing

There are subtle ways of breaking up with someone, and then there is paying a huge amount of cash for a massive and public billboard. You do not have to pay for it out of your own pocket, however, just how “Emily” didn’t.

Attention Grabbing

We have seen some sensational public breakups, but this is on another level, namely the top floor. Be careful how you treat your partners, they might just name and shame you at the amusement of millions of people, and that’s before it reaches the internet!

Going Into Business

Some people mean business when they break up with someone, while others own them. This shop owner was so infuriated by their partner’s behavior that it seemed to change their shop sign was the only way forward.

Going Into Business

Paul will definitely not be attending the next Jazz Club hosted at this venue, nor will he be seen in this neighborhood in general for some time to come. We just hope that a huge custody battle did not erupt over the dog.

Hidden Message

Writing love notes to your partner is one of the most heartwarming things to do in a relationship. You can put all those warm and fuzzy feelings into a meaningful form, while effectively hiding a biting conclusion!

Hidden Message

Breaking up with a vengeance is all about disguising your intent until the very last minute for the most explosive sneak attack. Poor Erin, and here she thought this was just another inspiring example of her partner’s offbeat affection.

Via Text

That escalated quickly! We have spoken about hitting someone when they least expect it, but this breakup really did come out of nowhere. Well, at least the victim here was informed of the situation, even if their ex just casually hit them with the truth.

Via Text

We wonder if “Will” would have ever broken up with his girlfriend if she hadn’t confronted him? Either way, Will proved himself to be a complete savage when it comes to ending things. He was probably barraged with desperate phone calls after that careless text.

Accident Ahead

While we understand that Dan is a real piece of work and deserves whatever he has coming to him, could you not have chosen a less obstructive place to publicly break up with him? There could be some essential information that you are blocking with your dirty laundry, Laura.

Accident Ahead

Whoever Gary is, he sure has his work cut out for him. Laura sounds like quite the troublemaker, beyond organizing an entire impromptu eviction at the drop of a hat. Some people just need to tell the whole world about their lives, even the nitty-gritty details.

Ride Of A Lifetime

We have seen plenty of elaborate breakups, but this one is up there with the most dedicated in planning and execution. This is a real emotional rollercoaster, with all commuters of this road being unwittingly treated to a physical and emotional turnaround.

Ride Of A Lifetime

Poor Jennifer… we are certain that the shocking reveal following a blissful proposal, all while driving, would be enough to cause her to lose control of her car. Hit them where it hurts, people, but do not cause accidents!

Community Watch

If you are going to take revenge on someone for cheating, make sure that they will no longer be able to leave their front door. Can you imagine having to face your neighbors after this kind of public announcement?

Community Watch

Some people just cannot leave a place without having the last say, and boy did this woman have a lot to say! When planning your revenge, take a minute to breathe in deeply and clear your head. If it all still seems like a good idea, then go for it.

Pizza My Heart

From cakes to pizza, here we have another mouthwatering breakup message. The hidden center of this pizza box would ruin anyone’s evening. We hope that whoever this was delivered to still munched the pie, as it looks incredible.

Pizza My Heart

Some people can break up with their formerly significant others like pizza fans break off slices. Imagine making a pizza order with an extra side of vengeance? Quite an unusual topping, but effective, nonetheless.

Your Choice

This breakup method is like one of those “Choose Your Own Adventure” games where you can decide your character’s fate. The situation is that the person has already broken things off, with this humiliating “choice” just adding insult to injury.

Your Choice

The person being dumped probably wished that there was an extra option, “None of the above.” You don’t need to check any box here, as this is a brutal example of a trick question.

28 Days Later

That didn’t last long! Given how untidy the handwriting in this note is, we can only presume that this couple were quite young. We are not going to criticize the kid’s technique, as Delandren was more mature and classier than a lot of the adults on this list.

28 Days Later

We hope that Krystal gets to enjoy happier anniversaries from this point onward. Being dumped on this special day is particularly heartbreaking, but kids are quite resilient and puppy love is generally quite meaningless, anyway.

Man In The Mirror

We sometimes suspect that people come up with creative dumping methods just for the internet fame. Either way, this victim’s next bathroom break was going to turn into something straight out of a horror movie.

Man In The Mirror

Take time and plan your next big breakup, and make sure that your victim gets to see their own expression of horror clearly. Having your karma reflected back at you is pure poetry. This poor person will find it hard to look at themselves in the mirror from now on.

Be Careful What You Wish For

The most disturbing moments in a relationship is discovering that your partner does not feel the same way that you do. Like in this example, where the white texter wished for marriage, whereas the green one decided that things were completely finished.

Be Careful What You Wish For

Pushing for commitment and seriousness in a relationship can easily backfire on a pushy partner. You can clearly see why the person on the right decided to end things, I mean they were only teenagers, after all!

Failed Disguise

Men are notorious for disappearing when they are most sorely needed, and an unplanned pregnancy is an assured way to send a male running for the hills. This guy thought he was being incredibly smooth, too bad his spelling was his Achilles’ heel.

Failed Disguise

He did not care too much about being called out by his partner, hilariously correcting his mistake. Unforeseen pregnancies are no joke, but we cannot help but laugh at this person’s insolence.

Double Agent

This is quite the carelessly bizarre situation, and if the offender did not intend to initiate a breakup with their wife, then they sure have a divorce on their hands now. If you think you will cheat, at least make sure that you do not mix up your partner with your mistress!

Double Agent

One of the best parts about this conversation is that the wife initially cast the whole thing off with an “Oh ok 😊.” What was she thinking? Clearly not much – as the last thing that you expect is to be confused for your husband’s side dish.

Geometry Lesson

Breaking up over text is awkwardly painful without autocorrect making things even more distressing. Some people can be so cruel, laughing at their mistakes even during a severe situation. Either way, this couple is definitely “octagon.”

Geometry Lesson

You only get one chance to breakup cleanly, and mistakes like this can make a desperate ex believe that they still have a chance. Make sure that your dumping efforts are clear, concise, and have nothing to do with shapes.

Facebook Fatality

Sometimes, some people cannot even be bothered to even tell their formerly significant other that they have moved on. The convenience of social media platforms like Facebook allow you to inform the world, including your partner, that you are breaking up.

Facebook Fatality

This certainly must be one of the most casually hardcore breakups imaginable. Poor Austin, imagine logging onto Facebook and seeing this? Emory seems to have appreciated Katlyn’s strategy, however, and so does the rest of the internet.

Space Case

When your relationship is on the line, it pays to be as serious and diplomatic as possible. Some people could care less, however, making the most out of any opportunity to be a corny fool.

Space Case

This is such an amazing way to get yourself blocked off someone’s phone, but at least you will achieve internet infamy! The person got what they asked for, a whole folder’s worth of incredible pictures of space.

They Have A Point

Some people struggle to get the point. You can tell someone, definitively, that things are over, and they will still use some random example as proof that the flame is still alive. Someone needs to tell Joey that buying someone a Starbucks coffee does not equal love.

They Have A Point

Teenagers often struggle to get the point, with Joey needing a bit more persuasion. We just hope that his next partner doesn’t ever buy him a Starbucks treat, he will undoubtedly take it as a token of their undying affection.

Even The Dog

They say that you can tell if a person is good news or not by how animals react to them. If a dog hates you, then you might want to reconsider your life choices. Still, we feel sorry for this person.

Even The Dog

Losing a partner is one thing, but losing a beloved pet is devastating, even if they weren’t particularly fond of you. Mark really wasn’t pulling any punches with this breakup, making a break for it as soon as possible.

Emoji Monster

Emojis have transformed the way that we communicate via text, allowing us to bring in added emotion and meaning to our messages. They have also clearly changed the way that we end our relationships, as proven by this person.

Emoji Monster

We have seen some heartless breakups in this list, but making an interpretive emoji story to inform someone that it’s over is nothing short of cold. This is an amazing way to ensure that an ex never tries calling you again –actions always speak louder than the words, even when there aren’t any.

The Perfect Playlist

It seems like people are getting more and more inventive with their breakup methods, with a Spotify playlist being one of the most inspiring ways to tell someone that it is over. Back in the day, people made mixtapes filled with romantic songs for their loved ones.

The Perfect Playlist

Now, you can convey an entire breakup message with your online music library. Wyatt will not be able to listen to Ed Sheeran, James Arthur, or Trey Songz for a long time to come. This also ruins the possibility of him licking his wounds with some sad breakup songs!

Help Me With This One

Making someone walk straight into a breakup is truly villainous. This person set their partner up for a seriously devastating dumping. Break up with someone, but for goodness sake, do not give them PTSD every time they hear a love poem!

Help Me With This One

Imagine sitting down and coming up with the most vicious way to end things? You must have been put through quite a lot to come up with such a sadistic dumping idea. It is a rather good poem, however, definitely suited for a Hallmark card.

He Had It Coming

If you ridicule your partner like this regularly, then you can expect that they will put you in your place in no time at all. We have to hand it to this magician in training, as the art of a good trick involves the perfect deception, i.e. pretending like this joker was ever amusing.

He Had It Coming

People really can disappear form your life as if by magic, so you had best make sure that you do not take them for granted like this guy did. Unless you want to experience a magic trick that you won’t ever forget.

Not Allowed

How brave do you have to be to prohibit someone from breaking up with you? Some partners can be horribly controlling, to the point where any attempt at distancing oneself form them can be quickly shut down.

Not Allowed

Some people need to be told in person that things aren’t going to work out. The easy way out of texting seems to not get through to some stubborn folks. It isn’t up to them, anyway, but you might want to try get your point across better next time.

Stick It To Them

Not every breakup requires a lengthy explanation. Sometimes you can end things with a sticky note and a single sentence. This makes sure that there are no misunderstandings, it is best to keep things as simple as possible.

Stick It To Them

Even if the person being dumped would otherwise wish to talk things through, this kind of shutdown will assure them that there is no further place for conversation. This is a brutal example, but effective, nonetheless.

Drove Straight Into It

Being cheated is one of the few times that vandalizing private property should be legal. You dont have no one to blame but yourself if your car gets a vindictive message spray-painted on thanks to your nasty behavior.

Drove Straight Into It

While we will never influence anyone toward destructive behavior, it must be said that this person had it coming. Cheating will only lead to disaster, don’t do it, folks! If you are unhappy in a relationship, just end it, before someone ends your car.

Hot Coffee

Careful with this note, you might just get burned! This is one unpalatable breakup letter. To be fair, few people can measure up to coffee’s incredible qualities. Still, you want to find someone who will make you feel like you just drank a delicious double shot espresso.

Hot Coffee

If your relationship has gone from a fine Columbian roast to a tin of instant coffee, then you want to consider ending things. Just make sure that you take inspiration from this coffee-themed shutdown.

Keyboard Killer

This person seemed to refuse to take a hint (or maybe even a clear explanation), and so the suffering partner had to literally spell things out for them. Rather than typing out a lengthy note, this person decided to go to town on the tool which does the typing in the first place.

Keyboard Killer

Being told that you are hated, and seeing that pricey engagement ring and house key thrown back at you is the definite way to cut someone off. But did you have to go and ruin a perfectly good keyboard? It is how we earn a living, after all!

Clearance Sale

It must be a shattering event, finding out that your wife was unfaithful. People react in all manner of ways, from falling into deep depressions, to putting together a neat yard sale of all their possessions.

Clearance Sale

We cannot imagine the look on this woman’s face when she came home to find all her clothes, jewelry, and appliances being picked up by strangers. Worst of all, that sign would be a shocking revelation.

Celebrate The Bad Times

We wonder how often bakeries get cake orders of this nature. After repeatedly asking whether this is what the person actually wants, it must be a bizarre making an otherwise splendid cake into a horrifying message.

Celebrate The Bad Times

This person clearly couldn’t have their cake and eat it. Well, at least they got a cake out of the whole ordeal, with most people being dumped having a lot of their possessions taken away from them.

Billboard Bombardment

Jennifer was not messing around this time – she was expensively committed to uncovering her husband’s illicit behavior. While you might think that this is all an extravagant waste of money and time, but the payoff is, as Jennifer put it, priceless.

Billboard Bombardment

We wonder just how sneaky Michael was to warrant such a professional level of stalking. While some partners can simply be confronted about their cheating, others have to be investigated CIA style. Well, that is what an offended partner is like.

Cropped Out

Some people just cannot wait to begin deleting all evidence of their ex’s existence off their social media accounts, sometimes before the ex knows that they’ve been dumped! This poor girl had to log into Instagram to learn the news.

Cropped Out

This guy decided that he would get to work as soon as possible, simultaneously letting his soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend that he had experienced a change of heart. This is a different kind of #TransformationTuesday, whatever that is…

“Don’t Worry”

So, you just got dumped. Don’t worry though, because at least you did not get left for Sam! Trying to put a positive spin on a breakup is a bold move indeed, especially when it is something as insincere as a promise that a friend of yours will not be replacing you.

Dont Worry

The only thing worse than the situation is the spelling and grammar of the actual message, and that is saying something. Maybe Adam will choose a more bookish girlfriend if he ever decides to get back into the game.

Chris Bye-Bye

While many of the instigators in this list have shown an exceptional level of ingenuity, this person must be the most shamelessly unimaginative. Chris Brown has inspired many relations, but who knew he could do the opposite, too?

Chris Bye Bye

At least this guy spent some time looking for the perfect lyrics, which he evidently copied and pasted straight into a message, given that random words are capitalized in the way that the next line of the lyrics would.

The Thoughtful One

Nothing says “cheap” like a breakup letter written on a one-dollar note. Having your means of transportation taken away might just sting worse than the actual breakup. You can easily find another boyfriend, but a car is a bit harder to replace.

The Thoughtful One

Jeff did not hold back with this explosive breakup. Well, at least Mary has her next bus fare sorted out, something she will need a lot of in the coming future, it would seem. Drive on, Jeff, and don’t look back!

Cleaned Out

The worst message you expect to find on the back of your truck is “clean me” written out in the dusty window. Dave could never have expected this upon returning to his vehicle after shopping.

Cleaned Out

We really admire how quickly and efficiently Nikki managed to clean him out, making sure that his money, children, and life in general were taken away from him. We hope the girlfriend was worth it, pal!

Death Threat

This message is rather sinister, isn’t it? While we would generally pass something like this off as bad taste, there is something rather believable about the act being carried out on the poor stick woman.

Death Threat

To be fair, you really need to have ruined someone’s life properly to warrant such a grizzly promise being drawn out for you. We really hope that Valerie managed to keep hear head threw this whole ordeal

Time And Place

If Janet was expecting a decent sendoff from whoever “ZF” is, she should have known better. Frankly, this kind of flippant humor is a clear indication of being well and truly fed up with the situation.

Time And Place

You give what you get in a relationship, and Janet got a drawing of her ex riding a giraffe as a parting gift. Take care of your loved ones, or you might end up receiving a bizarre goodbye like this one.

Missing You

Guess who won’t be featuring on the “Kiss Cam” any time soon? You cant predict how someone is going to behave when they’ve been cheated on. Sometimes they wreck your car, other times they call you out in front of millions of people.

Missing You

There’s always taking one for the team, and then there’s this. Whoever dates this woman next will think twice about messing around, seeing as they could very well have their dirty laundry aired on live television.

Neighborly Duty

This next one isn’t actually a breakup letter, but given its content, we really hope that one gets written soon. Please, for the sake of your neighbors’ sanities, just break up when your relationship hits rocky shores.

Neighborly Duty

Most of us have encountered a squabbling couple in one way or another, and it truly is the most unbearable things to witness. Keep it classy or call it quits! It just isn’t worth the trouble, for anyone.

Girl Power

Now this is a rare sight: the one he cheated with and the one he cheated on teaming up to take him down. Mr. Frazer could never have expected that these two ladies would put their differences aside and work together for justice.

Girl Power

We really love this example, as people being cheated on so often attack each other, rather than the one doing the cheating in the first place. Hopefully, more people will follow in their footsteps. Not that we want you to be cheated on!

Thick Skull

Can’t you take a hint? If your partner ever compares you to a previously doomed relationship, famous or ordinary, you know that it’s a sign of the end. Not this guy, however, who needed quite a few examples before catching on.

Thick Skull

Well, you can add this couple to the endless list of failed romances. It’s a sad state of affairs, but we all get over it in the long run… right? Not always. Some people never get over being dumped!

Try Harder

This one is just pathetically cringeworthy. If you are going to dump someone via text, and then to add insult to injury, with a joke, at least try to make it funny? We are sad to say that we shared this one due to its embarrassing nature.

Try Harder

The irony of dumping someone while trying not to “be too harsh” is painfully obvious in how corny this attempt was. We hope that whoever is responsible for this one will take our advice and try harder next time.

Gotcha!

By now you are probably steadily developing a bit of mistrust for any kind of sweet or affectionate display, seeing as all the ones presented here have turned out painfully deceitful! We don’t blame you, given this next “trick.”

Gotcha

Appearing more like a preschooler’s attempt at impressing their parents, this woman was under the impression that her silly little trick was groundbreaking. Anything but, we are afraid to say.

Sounding Board

We really wonder if this complete stranger provided constructive criticism, and if so, just what they had to say. We would be quite thorough with our feedback. Well, whatever gets the job done!

Sounding Board

We really wonder if this complete stranger provided constructive criticism, and if so, just what they had to say. We would be quite thorough with our feedback. Well, whatever gets the job done!

Sugary Sendoff

This cake looks so lovely, we might have even forgotten about the whole breakup thing after the first slice. Cakes seem to be a popular way to get rid of someone, don’t they? The irony of going through the effort of making something delicious and wholesome for someone you want to leave your life is not lost on us.

Sugary Sendoff

Chocolate cake happens to be our favorite, and if we ever fall on hard times relationship-wise, we really hope that our soon-to-be-exes do the same for us. It’s just thoughtful, you know. We love this tasty trend!

Texting Terrors

The film Other People might have been received by critics with less than satisfactory reviews, but this cheeky dumper made fantastic use of its title. We’re really not surprised that the victim here hadn’t even heard of it in the first place.

Texting Terrors

Regardless, this ex ran straight into the trap, another of the many unlucky dumped majority who were unkindly told to pack their bags with a silly little joke. If they hadn’t seen it before, they will definitely never even think of searching Netflix for it.

Just So You Know

“I’m thinking about you” is usually one of the sweetest messages to receive from a partner while away from them. Not in this case, where this well-meaning ex’s sentimental thought was taken advantage of connivingly!

Just So You Know

It seemed like this person was waiting for the right opportunity to break the bad news, with this romantic prompt being the perfect opportunity. The opportunistic dumper is a dangerous one, so keep a lookout for them!

Concerningly Confusing

This case is rather worrying. We hope that the concerned party being broken up with did not misspell a highly explosive and illegal substance, and that they were making a joke of the blue texter’s last message.

Concerningly Confusing

Whether because of a lack of lethal crystals, or a deficiency in math knowledge, the person being dumped seems to have been let go due to their inability to take anything seriously. A sense of humor is essential for a successful relationship, but try to be serious when it matters?

Don’t Shoot The Messenger

How inattentive do you need to be to accidentally deliver the bad news to the person your friend is going to break up with? Especially well before your friend, who the message was originally intended for, has made up their mind?

Dont Shoot The Messenger

Imagine breaking the bad news to your future ex, only to find out that they had been steaming over the matter long before you opened your mouth? Nice going, Mr. Gossip, we hope that people think twice before sharing secrets with you in the future.

Don’t Shoot The Messenger II

Here we go again with the premature breakup informing, only this time, “BF’s BFF” for some reason was under the impression that the relationship in question had already ended. Poor girl, that all-capitalized reply with a hundred question marks and exclamation marks is pure panic.

Dont Shoot The Messenger II

If Derek had considered a change of mind, then his silly BFF had ruined any chance of patching things up. Well, that is what we presume anyway, as anyone who will happily discuss breaking up with you publicly should be left for good.

Smooth Operator

While we have seen some rather immature examples of failed adult relationships and their childish outcomes, we sincerely hope that this message was sent by a child. You would have to suffer from developmental issues to send someone something like this past the age of eighteen.

Smooth Operator

In any case, this forced removal to Dumpsville is a bitter pill to swallow. Or maybe it has a hidden sweet center, as being released from the clutches of this cringeworthy person is a blessing in disguise.

Long Range Artillery

This case is just plain sad, and unfortunately an all too common occurrence. Being apart for so long, over a large distance, is the poison of too many relationships. The lack of physical contact can undo so many former passions.

Long Range Artillery

It takes an ironclad commitment and assurance that this person is your soul mate for a long-distance relationship to work, and even then, people can break even the most solemn of oaths. Try dating someone locally next time, Ricky.

Back At You

It seems like the green texter caught onto the white one’s little scheme, throwing it back in their face with impressive flair. You should try not to play games with the more cunning partners, it will never work out in your favor!

Back At You

Sadly, our quick-witted protagonist still got dumped, and no amount of quick thinking will save you from losing a partner who is well and truly done with you. We can’t fault their logic, however, or their sense of humor.

Attention To Detail

This is one nitpicking breakup letter! While you might be shocked that anyone would keep such a detailed list of offenses, if you actually read through all of them, you would have a pretty clear picture as to why this breakup happened.

Attention To Detail

This is quite a bizarre but nevertheless concerning the number of red flags. It seems like this person could no longer stand to make this list any longer than it already was, thank goodness for that.

Fires Over Guys

We really hope that this letter was addressed to the fast-food franchise, and not five different men at once. We are going to go with the burger serving champions of late-night binging, and not a whole gang of lovers.

Fires Over Guys

If this is indeed a love pentagon (?) then we can’t really fault Madelyn for writing the most generic and straightforward letter imaginable. Writing five individual stories would be too much for anyone. Having to leave Five Guys (the burger joint) behind would also be intensely heartbreaking, to be honest.

Ahead Of Her Time

Sadly, the silent treatment is something which partners of all ages must suffer, and this example clearly highlights how childish it is to ignore your significant other. Just talk things out, no matter how difficult they may be!

Ahead Of Her Time

Breakfast Breakup

We have never seen such a beautifully quaint way of breaking up with someone. While it is still a rather negative message and sendoff, its execution is like something off an Instagram influencer account. The message is also rather sad.

Breakfast Breakup

This is the kind of breakfast in bed which began as a lovely gesture and ended up as a melancholy goodbye. This guy’s partner was probably thrilled to see home enter the bedroom with a tray of goodies, only to find that she’d literally be eating her words.

Hairy Situation

In this picture there’s a lot going. Samuel seems to have been dumped at a hotel due to his intolerable hair (or lack thereof) situation. We hate calling people shallow, but this person deserves better than being leftover something so insubstantial.

Hairy Situation

She finished this note with “I hope I slipped this under the right door.” If you cannot even remember where your partner is staying, then you obviously were never that interested in them to begin with.

More Public Shaming

Here we have another example of couple of disagreements spilling out into the world at large. You have to be driven to desperation to write a note like this, reflecting a long-suffering subjection to all manner of noisy screaming contests.

More Public Shaming

This couple probably broke up out of sheer embarrassment, with both parties packing their things and moving out of “The Building” as soon as possible. You just cannot recover from something like this, better to save face.

Trying Too Hard

We really hope that young Keenen took the lessons from this breakup to heart. Trying too hard to make someone you’re interested in laugh and playing the clown is a surefire way to chase anyone away.

Trying Too Hard

While Keenen is obviously just a kid, you are never too young to learn more about how to be charming. Just play it cool, Keenen, and leave the lame jokes out of the equation. You are better than that!

Did You Hear The News?

We have covered a wide range of alternative breakup methods, but finding out that you have been dumped in the classifieds section of the newspaper is a whole other level of uniqueness. This must be quite an old example – who even reads this stuff anymore, anyway?

Did You Hear The News

Well, at least Kevin can now take the time to read through the otherwise neglected Classifieds section. Who know, there may be someone looking for a new partner! The Classifieds section holds many weird and wonderful services.

Opposites Detract

Relationships are strange in that both parties are often coming from completely different angles. One may want to get married, while the other cannot wait to end things, as was the case with Jacob and his ex.

Opposites Detract

If you really want to enjoy a successful relationship, you need to make sure that you are on the same page when the situation comes to your combined futures. It is best to talk things through, to best avoid crazy simultaneous confessions like this one!

The Game

This is one seriously elaborate revenge plot! If you ever want to exact a satisfying vengeance on an unfaithful partner, take after this femme fatale’s complicated scavenger hunt. Just imagining her driving from one secret place to the next, dumping her ex’s possessions, is hilarious.

The Game

We really hope that this guy managed to get at least a few of his valuables back, and that he wasn’t led into too dangerous spots in the process. We think that just the distress of this letter alone is enough of a possession.

Digital Divorce

This “breakup note” is unique in that the relationship never happened – it was all dreamed up by this odd online dating site user. There are plenty of things that could’ve gone wrong with this potential romance. Thankfully, they never even met!

Digital Divorce

Be careful with who you trust in the online world (and real one too). You never know who is actually sitting behind the screen, or who will arrive at your obscure date location when you agree to finally meet in person.

It’s Not Fun Anymore

Relationships should be “fun,” and being bored is a valid excuse to break up with someone. This person decided to bring some excitement back to their clearly uninspiring life with this casual and candid note.

Its Not Going To Work Out

It’s amazing how people can just summarize and end a longwinded relationship in a manner of seconds. Sometimes enough is enough, and you cannot imagine spending a second longer ending things than you need to.

It’s Not Going To Work Out

Breaking up with a joke is the best way to add some brevity to an otherwise grim situation. Unfortunately for the person being dumped, this kind of humor is generally unappreciated. Hey, they can’t all be good ones!

Its Not Going To Work Out

Take your time to think of a “good one,” then, as this is going to be a memorable experience for everyone involved. We think that this person’s sense of humor is pretty on point, however.